Johnny Williams

Linda Taylor

Kristine Sebastian. Such an unassuming name, and yet this woman saved me entirely. At the time I met Kristine I was in the middle of one of the biggest storms of my life, and I quite felt there was no way out. I felt weak and small, hopeless and trapped. I had given up... put my hands up in the air and gave myself up to the fact that this... this misery... is how it would always be. For after all, I'd had a long history of misery. a torrid past... filled with storms.... and each one centered around a boy. Now the rest of my life.. pretty on point... I had a good job, owned my own home, was into fitness and had two healthy sons. But boys... ahhh .. boys... that's where my weakness had always lied. Now I could get into all the reasons WHY... quite text book in fact... daddy issues with an abusive alcoholic father... drug addict mother who was never there to step in and protect her children.. .on and on and on. And I had gone to many therapists over the years to try to 'fix" me. Fix my co dependancy issues, fix the fact that I was always struggling with depression and anxiety.. fix the fact that I never quite felt good enough. And I'd hear all the same things from every person I went to see... I'd tell my sad story and they would silently nod and tell me things like, "well, this is all up to you Linda.. you have the control you know." "people will only treat you as you let them". they would throw every cliche possible at me.. tell me things like the reason I had issues in my romantic relationships was because my first male relationship had trust broken so now i chose men that gave me that same insecure feeling etc. And then enters Kristine stage left. I met Kristine at work.. a JOB kinda job. We became fast friends, as I'm sure most do with Kristine. I can't tell you how many times I would be bawling my eyes out at work... sitting on the bathroom floor at times feeling as though I wasn't able to stand back up.. trying to pull myself together so I could go back out.. and work. And Kristine would be there by my side.. sitting in the nurses room.. talking me through it all... and all without one cliche in sight. She listened without judgement, she listened with patience, she listened with compassion... and she let me figure it all out on my very own. She told me a thousand times that I was strong, knowing the whole time I wasn't capable of believing her. She told me I was going to be ok... knowing that I could not possibly see that at the time.. not in the midst of the storm. And then... she told me to write a book... a book called, Elephants can Fly, and so can You. She told me to go back to all of my journals, go through them and make them into a book... a book about strenght and perceverance.. a book about being low and picking yourself back up. A book that the world needed to read. And so I began our little project, excited that I finally had something real to focus on... excited that maybe out of all of my pain, something good could emerge. And as I went through my journals.. as I read through years and years of pain... a pattern emerged. An undeniable... and just plain sad.. pattern. I read each painful entry with tears streaming down my face as I relived all of those agonizing times.. and through it all, I found the strength to say NO MORE.. through it all, I found the heart to face the fear and do whatever needed to be done, to take myself out of that vicious cycle of pain. And it was because of Kristine. All becuase she sat there listening and never once rushed my journey. she quietly reminded me that I was strong. She would point o ut strong things I had done over and over again in my life. She would bring up my children.. but not in a blaming way.. not in a "hey get your life together you have kids watching" way. But more in the way that they needed me... that they were rooting for me to. She would say it was ok that I wasn't leaving "him"... she'd say that if I wanted to do that, I'd end up doing it one day... but only when I was ready. She built ME up without tearing anyone else down.. and she never once made me feel as though I was weak for staying. She never once pointed out the fact that I was crying every day over the same thing... when I was perfectly capable of making it stop. She knew i felt I couldn't... and even though SHE was strong.. she was brave... and she was long out of her storm.. she never once made me feel less for being in the midst of mine. I ended up calling the police and having said storm kicked out of my house.. andI sat down on my kitchen floor.. head in my hands... and I let out sobs that I had been holding onto.. maybe even my whole life. For I had ended bad relationships so many times in the past... just to get into another one with the exact same MO. But NOT THIS TIME. I sat there... sobbing.... letting the pain of everything hit me all at once. I didn't try to make it easier.. I didn't try to hold anything back... I just cried. And I made so many promises to myself that day on my kitchen floor.. all with Kristine's voice in my mind.. telling me I was strong.. convincing me in her magical way, that I was worthy of happines.. worthy of healthy... worthy of love and respect. I set new boundaries.. I wrote them down.. and I read over them every now and again.. but this time with a smile on my face, cause I know I am staying true to every promise I made that day. Kristine is special.. in the way that she gives and gives and gives... yet never takes anything away from who she is. she does not become weak by giving strength to others... and she is endlessly kind. I used to think I could never repay what Kristine did for me all those days sitting in the health room... but now today.. as I try to support my own best friend through her storm... I do it with patience and kindness... I do it endlessly letting her come out of this in her own time. I tell her she is strong... I tell her she is brave.. and I remind her she is just doing her best and that's perfectly ok. I remind her of her children, but never to make her feel bad. I stand beside her and i will, no matter how long it takes... all because of my sweet Kristine. so, n ot only did she help me through my storm... she is now helping me, help someone else through theirs. I've come out of this better, stronger, happier and gosh darn it.. I like me. Kristine Sebastian... anything BUT unassuming.

Maranda Mae Kristine Thomas

 © Rise N’ Shine Media 2018